When my son recovered from a coma he said that while he was in the coma he had spoken to his deceased grandfather. What do you think?

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Question: Hi, My son was in a terrible car accident in 1997 and was in a coma for 4 months. When he became alert I asked if he could hear us talking to him while he was comatose. He said he only remember talking to his grandfather, my father, who died in 1975. He said that his grandfather told him to go back because he needed to take care of me. That was kind of strange to hear because my son is a quadriplegic. What do you think of these types of happenings?

G.F.

ATP: G.F., first let me say that I am so sorry for what has happened to your son and for the personal pain you have experienced as a parent because of the car accident. My sympathies are with you and your son. I am a parent as well, and can only imagine my feelings were something as you have described to befall my children.

As for his conversation with his grandfather I do think there is an explanation.

Years ago when I was in high school, I lost one of my best friends in a tractor accident. We had literally just finished driver's training class in our rural Iowa town, when as he drove the tractor out of town, headed for a local farmer's place where he was going to be baling hay, the tractor rolled over killing him instantly. He was 16.

For a number of years I had dreams that Duane was still alive or had come back from the dead. Most of the time I knew they were dreams even in the middle of the dream. And then one night years later, I had a dream about Duane coming back from the dead that was so real that while in it, I was convinced that it was authentic.

I remember being stunned that somehow Duane had come back to life, and I remember saying in the dream, "All those other times this was only a dream! Oh my gosh, this time its real! He's really come back!"

And in the dream I talked to Duane about his coming back to life, and he talked to me about it. And try as I might during the dream, I could not shake myself out of it back to reality. I was convinced during that time that it was real.

Of all the dreams that I had about Duane over the years, it is the only one I really remember.

Our minds are incredibly powerful things that work in ways that we don't understand. I remember driving home from prom in high school, long after I should have been home, exhausted from the evening. As I was driving, fighting the urge to fall asleep, I began to hallucinate...stone sober and no drugs...seeing buildings along side of the road that weren't there, and pheasants everywhere.

I know of others who during a time of fatigue have experienced the same thing.

My point is that our minds can create their own reality. We have all experienced it, whether in a dream or in an exhaustion induced bit of mental confusion.

In my opinion your dear son probably experienced one of these kinds of things. And in his love for you, his mind created a dream of concern for you and how you were going to be taken care of.

As much as it would seem comforting in some way that his grandfather had spoken to him, I don't believe it is likely that it actually took place.