How do we talk to some one about God who doesn't want to hear? Part 1

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Question: How do we talk to someone about God who says he/she doesn't believe in God and doesn't want to hear anything about God or his Word? I know/feel it is our responsibility as Christians and it is weighing heavy on my heart!

E.K. from Florida

ATP: There is no simple formula we can apply in answering the question of how to go about “witnessing”, as it is called, to a person about their need for the Lord when that person doesn’t want to hear.

On the one hand, the old saying is often true that, “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” In other words, if people don’t want to listen or agree, even if we out debate them to win a logical point, it is likely that we have not changed their minds. We may have only annoyed them. Sometimes such an approach will push them further away from the point/truth we are trying to persuade them of.

This is a common result whether we are talking about politics, child rearing or moral issues etc., let alone direct discussions about God.

On the other hand it is often the case that people who have been upset when confronted with things they really didn’t want to hear, later have come to accept, believe in and even embrace the truths spoken to them.

For example when families and friends do an “intervention” in the life of some one with an alcohol or rage problem, major changes can take place. Without going into great detail, an intervention is an orchestrated ambush on the person with the problem, with all the people in their closest relationships meeting them in one place when they do not expect it to confront them about what it going on in their lives.

Just to be doubly clear, I am only using “intervention” as an example to explain the point I am making. I am not recommending it as a witnessing tool! Not a good idea!

So what do we do?

First we need to understand that it is God who prepares people to listen. In John 16:8 referring to the Holy Spirit whom God was going to send,

…when He comes He will convict the world concerning sin, and righteousness, and judgment.

It is the Holy Spirit, not us, who brings conviction to the heart of a person. If people aren’t ready, they aren’t ready. When we make attempts to talk to some one about the Lord and they don’t want to hear, we need to respect their wishes. We need to give them space for a season regarding that subject. That may mean giving them space for years. Each case is different.

If God hasn’t prepared them, he hasn’t prepared them. We should be able to love them and hang out with them without having to bring up the subject that they don’t want to hear about. It is a matter of respecting their wishes.

Second we need to remember Jesus’ comments to some of the disciples when he called them. He said,

Follow me and I will make you fishers of men.

While I recognize that the fishermen he was speaking to primarily used nets, not hooks and lines to catch fish, there was skill and knowledge involved. To catch fish a fisherman needed to know when and where to fish; how to throw a net out, how to pull it back in so the fish wouldn’t be lost.

In similar sense, but with no manipulation implied here, we need to know how to put out the “bait” when the fish doesn’t seem to be interested.

Whacking the fish in the head with the bait isn’t a good idea. Very often “twitching” the bait from a short distance away will make a fish move forward to investigate and then bite. So giving people distance out of respect for their wishes but living our Christian lives in plain view, may cause a person to move forward to take a closer look at Christ.

Our tension in how to share our faith often exists because the part we are thinking of is how to ask someone if they want to ask Christ into their life. But if the fish hasn’t been attracted to the bait, setting the hook is a useless exercise.

Years ago I read about a study that said it often takes 1,000 contacts in a person’s life before they are ready to say yes to God, asking Christ into their life.

They read a story, hear a Bible verse, attend a church service, are extended kindness by a Christian—whatever the contact points may be—it may take 1,000 of such contacts to do the job.

What we need to do is simply be one or more of those contact points and worry less about being number 1,000! Contact number 543 is just as important.

There is much more to share on this subject that I will add on another day, as this blog is already getting long! Hopefully this has been a helpful start.